Utang | Dealing With People Constantly Borrowing Money
The old problem… Should you or should you not keep lending them money
Oh No… Utang
Talking about money with other people can be awkward or even embarrassing for some, especially when the conversation starts leaning towards utang. Everybody over the age of 18 has, at some time experienced having someone (be it a relative or a friend) ask to borrow some money from them.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s really nothing wrong with it as long as they repay the debt in a timely fashion. But, more time then not, you will have that particular person repeatedly borrowing more and more money from you and, somehow, completely forgetting to pay it back. No utang is good utang… Or even worse, this great friend of yours actually starts to get annoyed when you try to ask for it back. (OMG)
If you’re tired of feeling confronted and cornered every time someone asks to borrow a bit of cash from you, here are pieces of advice we think will help…
“Hindi”
Some of the kindest people I know are constantly being taken advantage of simple because they haven’t leaned this rule. It may be hard the first few times but simply learning to say NO and not feel guilty will help you as much as it helps them.
Simply find a reason to say NO and don’t feel guilty about saying it… “Kahit ano… may babayaran kang credit card, strictly budget lang kasi pera mo dahil may loan kang binabayaran, o ‘di kaya [may] nanay [ka] na nanghihingi ng amount for her monthly salon visit.” If you do start to feel a little awkward when saying it, find a way to convey that you won’t be able to help out for now.
Learn to be more assertive and speak the truth about your budget or financial situation. Try not to get into the situation where you start having to make up stuff… Just say, ‘Naku [sic], now’s not a very good time. If nakaluwag-luwag ako baka mapapahiraman pa kita. Pero right now kasi pareho lang tayo mejo [sic] gipit.’ Wala naman sila magagawa eh.”
Don’t feel guilty.
You should never feel guilty or embarrassed by saying no. If you simply don’t have the money or, for whatever reason can’t lend the money and you know the person one asking genuinely needs help, offer to help out in other ways. On the other hand, if the person asking for money is someone who can’t seem to fix their finances, or simply has never heard the word “Budget”, then flat-out say that you can’t help. After all, this person needs to take control of their spending and stop depending on others to pay for them. Give a person a fish and they eat for a day.. Teach them to fish and they eat for life…
Unfortunately, ours is a culture where saying no to things we don’t want to commit to actually, demonizes us. You worked hard for your money and even if you had some to spare, it’s still totally your prerogative as to how you spend it,
Some people need to learn how to live within their means and maintain a comfortable lifestyle without inconveniencing others
Give only what you can spare.
Don’t let anyone bully or pressure you if you don’t give them the full amount they asked for. Offer what you know you can live without and not feel cheated if you never get paid back.
Personally, if may nang-uutang, I honestly don’t expect them to pay me na. So if they ask if I can lend them P10,000… I simply say I can’t sorry, I have no budget for that. It depends na lang on their sincerity and how often they have asked in the past if I give them P1,000 para lang makatulong.
Always remember kapag utang always 80 percent of the time ‘di na babalik ‘yan. Kaya never magpautang ng ‘di mo afford mawala ng parang bula.
If you can’t avoid it, budget for it.
Many of us often find ourselves supporting our extended families. When a cousin or sibling asks for money it can be quite difficult to say no and often if you do you bare the wrath of the family for being so kuripot. If the reasons are valid (a relative’s prolonged illness, or disasters and accidents), then maybe it’s time to actually factor this into your budget.
You can have a monthly budget for your extended family bigay or mga friends na nangungutang ni hubby sa Excel to control na rin. Just to be very careful about when and how you give out the money, as there will always be people who are all too willing to abuse your kindness and generosity.
Yung ibang tao kasi wagas mangutang, Isang text lang gusto deposit agad… Buti na lang din we usually don’t give the whole amount asked, after all kapamilya pa din or kaibigan ‘yon, bayaran kami o hindi, alam ko kahit papano, nakatulong.
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